I want a brand new conifer for Christmas

Anyone remember the novelty Christmas hit single from 1953 titled, I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas? It has remained one of my very favorites since the first time I heard it. It just doesn’t quite seem like the Christmas holiday season without hearing this song at least once.

I was trying out one of those new online services that let you listen to tons of music on your computer – for free. My wife requested an evening of Christmas music, so I did a search and created a playlist. Sure enough, I found Gayla Peevey’s old recording. As we were enjoying our evening, working on our hand-crafted gifts, my mind began to wander as Gayla’s voice filled the room – what if I changed the lyrics just a little bit to better fit my Christmas wish – here is the result:

I want a brand new conifer for Christmas
Only a brand new conifer will do
Don’t want a bulb, no stinky Amorphophallus titanum
I want a brand new conifer to plant in my arboretum

I want a brand new conifer for Christmas
I don’t think Santa Claus will mind, do you?
He won’t have to use our dirty chimney flue
Just bring it through the front door, that’s the easy thing to do

I can see me now on Christmas morning, creeping down the stairs
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes
To see a brand new conifer potted there

I want a brand new conifer for Christmas
Only a brand new conifer will do
No Rhododendrons, no silly little crocuseses
I only like colorful coniferususes
And colorful coniferuses like me too!

May you all have a holiday filled with the people you love.

Ed-
Conifer Lover

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